when i\’m feeling it…

This is a place for those who had captured the sun and caused it to shine

when a mother rejects her daughter

This a true story:

   There is a young girl in her early 20s who started being our patient 2 years ago. Lets name her as SH. SH first presented to us with visual and auditory hallucinations. She was prescribed the usual medications for schizophrenia. However, we noted she seldom came to our follow-up and didn’t take her medications. She has several admissions to the ward with increased frequency since early this year. The most frequent reason for admission was her threat to commit suicide. Strangely nobody made police reports except on one admission. We started noticing that she became as normal as a human being can be after being admitted each time, however, she showed some depressive symptoms and anti-depression was thus prescribed upon discharge. At these times, we started to become suspicious of her psychosis. Another strange thing was that the family refused to take her back after discharge. So, we made an assumption that the girl might be having behavioural problem instead of true schizophrenia. A family therapy was dully done to educate the mother about her condition, but the session turned out to be a time for the mother to ventilate.

    Things began to turn clearer this year. SH started running out from house, wandering around but most times sleeping and staying at the hospital’s visitors’ station. She alleged the security guards of molesting her (a baseless allegation similar to allegation that her brother raped her when she was 8-year-old) and threatening to jump from the building if she was not allowed to be admitted. She was admitted to the medical ward due to so-called seizure. No seizure was noted during her stay and subsequently diagnosed as pseudoseizure and discharged. The mother refused to pay the hospital bills and didn’t want to take her home. The ‘caring’ staffs of the ward collected money among them, paid her bills and let her go wherever she wanted (they need to vacant the bed to receive new admission). SH ended up at the same place, creating the same problems. I refused to admit her to my ward unless we agreed for some behaviour modification therapy. SH was really a pain in our ass during the stay! She was lazy and preferred to eat and sleep only.

We did sent her back home together with our CPU team. We talked to the bilaterally amputated father about her. He is clearly not the decision-maker of the family. We left her and promised to visit again after 2 days. She turned up at the hospital the next day, creating disturbances in the surgical ward, saying the mother fought with the father about her problems. But we decided to visit her house again after raya. This time we went there with a specialist and a senior medical officer and a social worker. We took her along although she blatantly refused at the beginning. That day we talked to the mother. Clearly, most of the problems stem from her. The mother was ready to accept her, but she was the one refuse to come back. She alleged her brother raped her. She once acted as if she was pregnant due to the raped. She spent money she collected for the school’s charity drive. A lot had been done to help her. The brothers chipped in energy and money, but none brought any benefit.Ok, I’ll be fair to SH here for a while:

She has a big family with 12 siblings; 7 males and 5 females. What I can say is that the males are not the usual males. They are quite ‘soft’. The way they communicate among each other is so childish. I found some of the behaviour awkward and inappropriate. Some of them might be having borderline or low intelligence. They live in a low-cost house in a densely populated low socioeconomic area. They managed to renovate the house (maybe due to the ability of one of the brother to run several wedding shops) and the house was surprisingly clean. For me, I think it’s quite difficult for teenagers or young adults to grow in that kind of situation. To add salt to the flavour, the mother is a type who would give free lectures.

    Now, back to the gist of the story:

We decided to make a police report. The mother agreed. She was also ashamed of her behaviour and didn’t mind the police intervention (the police had brought her back several times when she was found wandering, she once told them she only has a step-mother). Our aim was to scare her and showed that we really mean business about her behaviour and attitude. Quickly, SH agreed to get married (she has an admirer who is willing to marry her whenever she say yes) and to stay at home. NO WAY JOSE! We really wanted to teach her. We took her to the police station. While we were making the report, she got a round of lecture from a female inspector-in-charge and later, another bashing from the DSP of the unit. We completed the ‘preliminary’ report. If she ever make any more problems or disturbances in the hospital, another police report will be made and she’ll be seeing lights from behind bars.

We discharged her the next day to her house. I hope that will be the end. But we never can predict, as it’s too early to say whether the end has come.

So, enough of my notes today. Bye bye.



Monday, October 22, 2007 - Posted by | Community Psychiatry

1 Comment »

  1. Reading your article I can tell something negative has happen in her childhood to make her avoid her family home and decide to bounce from a family enviornment to a hospital insitution. Eventhough you may feel she’s lying about her childhood something happen that caused her to sway to the dark side of life. “We” people who has support networks whether its family, friends or church” dont really understand someone who cant deal with her problems but only in a negative way. Sometimes I think they may grow to forgive the people in their youth who caused them significant pain. Or there are those who never forgive and go thru a merry go round of harm, pain and unhappiness. Alot of the insecurities we feeel come from our childhood. Simply having parents or sibling to tell us we are beautifiul and we can accomplish anything would have made our life much more manageable. But now we are adults we have to take responsibility for ourselves and heal those wounds of past mistakes that our parents made. Alot of times we forget that our parents and guardians had their own problems. I think most did the best they could. But with limited resources, lack of maturity and growth they gave us the best life they could. Now we have so much opportunites that we have to be thankful and forgive their mistakes weather they were intentionally or not and provide a better standard of living for our children and youth. We need people to step up and help those we see potential in. Help them overcome the obstacles they have face and let them know they are not alone. And make them believe in themselves that they are more than looks and what people said about them in the past. I dont care about skin color. But I do care about those who are hurting, They have options and we who have made it regardless of our circumstances need to let them know. So they can help those in the next generations. So they can be productive citizens in today’s society. Instead of taking and not giving back. God Bless. I hope my message help someone. I love the youth and am praying for all of you and hoping your will raise above the negative and grab your dreams. No one will give it to you. Be respectful and also determine and aggressive an accomplishing your dreams. Once you accomplish your goals give back and help someone who you feel in your heart needs it. Please forgive me of any mispelling and grammar errors. its late and I wanted to post my comment before i went to bed.

    Comment by monique | Friday, April 29, 2011 | Reply

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