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Another fight

It’s already the second month of 2011 and here I am trying to write another entry for my blog that is never continuously active. In 2-and-a-half month time, I’ll be sitting for my Part II exam that will play abig part in deciding my progress into the field of psychiatric specialization.

Yes I have already start studying. But it seems that there are so many things to read and there are no specific texts to depend on. I’m not yet depressed nor dysphoric but the anxiety already creeping in. I hope the anxiety is maintained at an exceptable level.


Friday, February 18, 2011 Posted by | Live n let die! | Leave a comment

Friday Prayer

Today I did my friday prayer at Masjid Saidina Abu Bakar As Siddiq, Bangsar (easily mentioned as Masjid Bangsar because it is the only one there-stuck in the middle of hanky-panky of Bangsar). It was so comfortable compared to my weekly prayer at Masjid HKL.

The mosque was easily accessible although I had to park some distance away (it was ok because I wanted to have lunch ). There was a small entrance gate beside the main road so there was no need to enter through the main gate. The wudhu area was clean and not slippery although the water pressure was a bit low until the Indon man beside me need to wait for me to finish taking my wudhu because his pipe water suddenly went dry while he was taking his wudhu. The prayer hall was fully carpetted and the area where I prayed was clean and comfortable. There were adequate fans although it was a bit hot as they were not switched to full speed. But I did not sweat as profuse as when I prayed in Masjid HKL. The main prayer hall was not air-conditioned as the Masjid HKL but it was comfortable enough for the large number of jemaah there. Maybe due to the types of workers plying their trades and skills there, the jemaah looked ‘better’ in terms of appearance. Don’t take me wrong-I’m not differentiating anybody as we are equals in front of Allah.

I hope that Masjid HKL can provide more comfort to the friday prayer jemaah. Not only in terms of adequate fans and ventilations, but also in terms of coverage as there will always be people who need to pray outside the extended prayer hall in the middle of the hot and scorching sun. I do agree that we should except what ever we had when we make our way to the mosque, but comfort is important to maintain concentration and being ‘khusyuk’ during prayer.

Saturday, April 24, 2010 Posted by | Live n let die! | | Leave a comment

Do we need street protest?

The recent friday and saturday will not be best remembered by those living and commuting in and around Kuala Lumpur. This was because of the massive traffic jam as a consequence from the street protests.

Do we really need these life-annoying events?

I really think Malaysians should not condone these kind of acts. Why should a group of people with their own and personal aims caused hardships to thousands of other ‘uninterested and so-called’ ignorance citizens like me and you? We had already devoted 5 days a week of our life to our jobs, in search of incomes and were looking forward to the weekends to relieve our stressful minds, but then we were told that the city was inaccessible due to the gatherings of these so-called people who demanded for ‘changes’.

Why these people (if I may use my word-stupid people) want to demonstarate about abolishing an act that the government already planned to review it, is a big question to my politically-uninclined mind. I heard that most of them came from outside KL, even as far as the east coast states to participate. To my uninitiated mind, this anti-ISA gatherings was a politically motivated gatherings.

Why was it held in the heart of KL, in the heart of commerce and business, where its roads are directly connected to the main traffic flow of KL? Why won’t the organizers did it far away in a less disturbing place then sent a representative to hand in the most important memorandum to the king? These people only like to cause hardships in the daily life of others. If I may speak on behalf of those not so well politically inclined, I think that the gathering was at utmost bulls*** and really ‘menyusahkan orang’! Are those who gathered there really know what the hell ISA is, or at least the year it was drafted and the reason behind it? I really doubt it because they were there because of political gain. If not, tell me why there was chanting of ‘Mati BN?’

I read in the newspapers that there were several protesters that fainted, and even a teenager who collapsed due to asthmatic attack and were rushed to the hospital (where else, Hospital Kuala Lumpur la-kesian kat staff yang kerja shif pagi dan petang). This is what I want to say to the protesters” “padan muka!’ Who ask you to be there in the first place? The protesters were swarming in the heat of KL, shouting and screaming, while their big bosses who I think are also as mindless as many of their followers, happily sat under the shade, coming and going in air-conditioned car.

Adil ke macam tu? Pakatan Rakyat konon!

Sunday, August 2, 2009 Posted by | Live n let die! | Leave a comment

11th Johor Mental Health Conference: Deinstitutionalization

I just came back from Johor Mental Health Conference. This was my second attendance for the conference, and both as a delegate. I hope to attend it as a speaker the next time, Insyaallah.

I was interested about the keynote address given by Prof. Hermann from Melbourne on the first day. She talked about the Australian mental health policy and touched largely regarding the effect of deinstitutionalization for the homeless psychiatric patients. It was interesting to note that she sincerely acknowledged that Australia is still failing in deinstitutionalization of psychiatric patients although it is a developed country and has a very well-established and systematic health delivery systems.

I felt Malaysia is way way back than Australia in term of deinstituonalizing the mentally ill.

The first problem lies in the acceptance of our community towards the mentally ill. I am generalizing Malaysians when I’m speaking about this problem. Malaysians at large still think that mentally ill people should be living together with ‘those who have the same problems’ and separated from the ‘normal’ people. Malaysians also think that the government should take the fullest responsibility in caring for these mentally ill people. Things are made worst when psychiatrically impaired persons are admitted to the ward repeatedly, and the family will express their intention and utmost desire and request for the patient to be kept longer in a psychiatric institution thus the expressions of:

“kami tak tau nak buat apa lagi dengan dia ni, doktor hantar jer lah dia masuk Tg. Rambutan, bagi dia duduk lama-lama sikit kat situ, at least kat situ ada orang yang tengok dia makan ubat”

“lepas dia baik nanti, baru bagi dia keluar”

“kami ni semua kerja, mana ada masa nak tengok dia makan ubat dan bawa dia jumpa doktor”

“dia ni memang menyusahkan family la doktor, ada ker dia boleh pukul mak saya, saya balun la balik. Celaka punya anak”

These requests may have been accepted by the doctors 10 or 20 years ago, and patients will be happily transferred to the four psychiatric institutions available.

However, with the wave of deinstitutionalization that started in the 1960s in the west, and the introduction of a more comprehensive community care in Malaysia since 1990s, these requests were less entertained, and responsibility given to the family for the long term care of the mentally ill. The four psychiatric institutions were gradually minimizing their number of beds, and expansion of capability for psychiatric care in govermentment hospitals intensified.

Deinstitutionalization should be done concurrently with the empowerment of the family to care of the patients. Families should be prepared with basic knowledge of the illness (so that they understand the cause of it, the symptoms and indicators of relapses), the importance of medications and continuous follow-ups and the psychosocial rehabilitation programmes.

Then, the surrounding communities (neighbours, village folks etc) should be educated about mental health through small and short explainations, for example after solat jemaah or friday prayer, sermons at the church etc. The community in which the patients live must be told that a recovering/recovered mentally ill people is still part of their social fabric and should not be isolated.

Saturday, July 18, 2009 Posted by | Community Psychiatry | Leave a comment

Reversing the policy

The most hotly debated and discussed reversal of policies now is the reversal of the teaching of mathematic and science in english (PPSMI) policy. It was introduced by then PM Tun Mahathir back in 2003 and touted as one of the way to haul up Malaysia faster towards the developed nation status. It was met by many challenges, not only by the students in their quest to learn something deemed difficult subjects by many in english, but by also those responsible in teaching those subjects as many of the teachers and educators were themselves were poor in mastering english. So, the controversies led to many discussions, protests, forums bla bla bla. There was even a movement ‘Gerakan Basmi PPSMI’ initiated in protest to this policy.

But, came recent week in July 2009, our new prime minister has announced the irreversible demolishing action of reversing the PPSMI by 2012, and by then our students will then be again learning these subjects in Malay.

I personally feel that the decision was atrociously incorrect and done with a political agenda behind it?

Many of the so-called movements for the Malay language lauded the PM’s decision. But here at the grass roots, people are expressing their dissapointments about it.

One question comes to my mind: Why is it only the Malays are talking a lot about it?

The other questions:

What about the other races?

 Are the other races don’t care whether PPSMI stay or go?

My grass-root is in the Malay middle class, live comfortably in the outskirt of KL and my daughter has most of the things that she wanted. Me and my wife talks in Malay and also English to her, and my wife’s 7-year-old niece talks english to my daughter when she came back from school. We always has Berita Harian and The Star on weekdays, plus NST and Mingguan Malaysia on weekends.

-Thus I am aware of the importance of English for my daughter

-Insyaallah she will be able to has a good grasp in both Malay and English

-I can always buy English books for her and send her to English tuition class, if needed

BUT ……

what about those people whom their grassroots are in the low social class?

where are they going to learn English?

are their parents or children so aware about the importance of English?

they have only schools to provide them with english teachings …… and perhaps, it is from schools that they can hear (not to the level of listening yet) english words and phrases (please minus the vulgar ones)


We should be teaching subjects in our Malay also.

BUT we should have fully English-stream schools also …………… hail the Malay College!

Monday, July 13, 2009 Posted by | Live n let die! | 2 Comments


Today is a weekend off.

I’d finished the last oncall of this month on tuesday. it was really a bad oncall, and i would said it got worst from the previous one. an incident happened during the oncall (but i didn’t realized it till tomorrow afternoon).

dr zanariah’s geriatric patient complained that he had a fall. he claimed it happened on the night of my oncall. however, it was not reported to the staffs nor did they witnessed the fall. to complicate matters, i did not record anything from the patient because i didn’t do the night round …. nice eh?

hey, i was really busy ok! i got down to a&e after taking my bath at 9 pm and stayed there till 12 am. who on earth want to wake up the patients for night round at 12 am when they already sleeping? in fact, dr siti had already made the specialist night round earlier around 730 pm. why must the MO make another round? gila ker apa?

so the incident had been reported as official incidence. so, i may need to answer to the incidence commitee later.

hah… whatever lah. shit happened.

Saturday, June 27, 2009 Posted by | Jobs and Works | Leave a comment

Post exam

Today is the 3rd day of post-official part one exam result day. i’ve been in work since last week. what a relieve that i passed, and now is posted to the community psychiatric services. the joy of passing has already settled and now i am already planning for the part two tasks.

It had been a stressful and prolonged hypercortisolaemia period since april. i am so relieved that i will not be enduring it again until 2010 when i’m going to sit for the part two exam. i pitty my friends who need to re-sit their papers in november, but good luck to them, and i know they will certainly pass

Monday, May 18, 2009 Posted by | Live n let die! | Leave a comment

tomorrow is a part of the test

hi you all outside in the whole wide world,

today is the last day of my study leave. tomorrow i’m gonna take my part one written paper. i know i will pass and go for the clinical exam.insyaallah.hope it’ll be a good news at the end, and it should be. pray for my success.


Sunday, May 3, 2009 Posted by | Live n let die! | Leave a comment

Antipsychiatry movement and consumerism



 The link was emailed to me by my friend last week.

My first impression was of shock that there are people outside there who still think that psychiatry is not a usefull branch of medical study. Later, after reading the first few paragraphs, only I start to realize that the antipsychiatry movement is due to the ‘conflict’ between the psychiatrist themselves. The question whether psychological-based or biological-based psychiatry is appropriate has been an open secret for decades, at least among the psychiatric community. It was quite shocking when the article mention about prominent names such as Foucalt, Laing and Szasz as the founders and thinkers of antipsychiatry movements at the initial stage. These are the names who still exist at least in the basic sciences text book of psychiatry that i’m reading for my exam. However, it was sad that the article did not mention any prominent names from the biological-based psychiatry who tried to counter their opinions.

The article described prominently about the ‘power’ biological psychiatry has over the states and goverment and has been trying to put bad lights on the psychological psychiatry. Many books and articles from the thinkers of psychological psychiatry was mentioned about the apparent overrule of biological psychiatry and their mistreatment of patients.

However, it was sad to note that the antipsychiatry movement has been taken over by so-called radical consumerism activity. The academic thinkers of psychological psychiatry has been shunned off to make way for former psychiatry patients to take over the leadership. I’m not sure what the article really mean by former patient. Maybe those who had already 100% cured from their psychiatric illness with nil relapse episode and not taking any kind of therapy anymore, or are they those who are only taking psychological-based therapy.

It’ll take another 10, 20, 30 or more years for patients and consumers in Malaysia to realize the antipsychiatry movement does exist and has been championing the rights to avoid involuntary admission, prescription of drugs and physical treatments. How are Malaysians gonna realized that when we are still believing that psychiatry is another disturbances in life due to the disturbing forces of the unknown, and when patients are more likely to be brought to see the traditional healers first before doctors.

Sunday, March 1, 2009 Posted by | Community Psychiatry | | Leave a comment

“Malaysian police arrest five at funeral march”

That is the headline for Malaysian MSN when I opened the browser today.

I’m not shock because there was whole bunch of policemen near and around UMMC alone yesterday when I went there. I supposed the policemen were present throughout the way to the dead man’s funeral. There were rumours yesterday that the dead body will be paraded around town to show how brutal and corrupted the Malaysian police are – what a stupid joke!

I can understand the rage of the family and I can understand the dissatisfaction of several ‘groups’ regarding the matter of death in custody, and I think that the AG is right to further continue the probe as death in custody is no small issue. However, I cannot understand why the dead man was hailed as such a hero, where in reality he was actually a luxury car theft – if not, how can he lead the police to discover the stolen vehicles? At the same time, the police force was put in such a bad light that we might need another force to guard our security. Private security firms, anyone? I also cannot understand why we must affiliate the police force directly with the government? Police force is in their own identity. They are not obliged to follow any directive from the legislative. Ok, their salary is paid by the goverment, but they receive their own orders. If not, are we going to directly pay the police force by donating money into any ‘tabung’ in front of the police station? I doubt people will do that because we Malaysians are well known for our ‘kedekut habit- no matter what races or social class we come.

The stupid large procession did made life difficult to everyone else. Not many people want to be part of this stupid march. We just want to continue our so-called normal life. Our life is already messed up with this economic recession, and we don’t want to further complicate this. I need to get out early from UM yesterday to pick up my wife because I did not want to be stuck in the traffic jam secondary to the march. To do that, I need to quit early from my group discussion and missed the last chunk of the discussion. Who knows what was discussed during my absence might come out in the exam. If I cannot answer the question, can I blame it on this so-called ‘groups’? Maybe other people need to rush to sent their family to hospital with their own car, then was not able to reach the A&E in time at the patient’s condition deteriorated, so who can they blame? The hospital obviously, because this so-called protest group will dissappear into thin air.

I really hate demonstrations, marches, protest etc. It only makes life more difficult. It does not bring better life. You can get noticed and be popular through demonstration, when it only disrupt the life of ‘insan-insan marhain yang lain’.

Lastly, I cannot understand the so-called ‘unfairness of the government towards the people, especially the Indians’. Why is Indians feel they are the only group being marginallised? What about the Malays who are still living in the dump? What about those Chinese that still selling pirated goods for living? Are we not unfairly treated as well? Every community is given a chance to upgrade their lives by the goverment. But unfortunately every community produce their own self-created problem that continue to halt their progress: Malays with their lazziness and drugs problems, Chinese with their gangsterism and the Indians with their alcoholism and suicide (at least they are the majority of suicidal attempt cases I saw in hospital). So, must we still blame the government? “Tuhan tidak akan merubah hidup sesuatu kaum itu selagi mereka sendiri tidak berusaha merubahnya” So the question is: “Has we tried everything to change our life to the better before blaming someone elese?”

Thursday, January 29, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | 1 Comment